This love has taken it's toll on me.

Ok so, I felt the need to explain this whole hiatus/apocalypse.

I have been feeling so frazzled lately. I mean, my room is a mess, my schoolwork is a mess, the way I look is a mess, basically, I'm a mess.

I'm not even reading books anymore. I used to love to read. I feel the need to write. Not ranting about Fall Out Boy and certain dickhead members of Fall Out Boy, but to write! DEEP thoughts. Read and write.

The REALLY LOUD music is wearing me down. The incessant cursing is wearing me down. The way my life is, is so completely wearing me down.

That doesn't mean I will never listen to metal, punk, or screamo again. I don't even think I COULD do that. I adore that kind of music, and it is so entirely ME.

I just need a break from it.

I need peaceful.
I need indie.
I need Wilco.
And Bright Eyes.
I need to maybe SLEEP once in a fricking while.

I have been so emotional lately, and I'm TIRED OF IT.

Tired.

Just take a look at that:

The Young Wild Things Tour

You know I wanna go. With all my hard feelings about Fall Out Boy and Pete Wentz, It would still be cool to see them and Gym Class Heroes, Plain White T's, and Cute is What We Aim For.

All the live performances I saw on TV by Fall Out Boy, have really SUCKED. So if I go to this, hopefully none of the bands will suck.

I would have to go to the concert with my mom. Don't know how much she will like it. :)

Fart Out Boy- Sugar, We're Goin Down

Am I more than you bargained for yet
I’ve been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that’s just who I am this week
Lie in the grass next to the mausoleum
I’m just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(A notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Drop a heart and break a name
We’re always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We’re going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we’re going down swinging
I’ll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We’re going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we’re going down swinging
I’ll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn’t it messed up how I’m just dying to be him
I’m just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(Notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Drop a heart and break a name
We’re always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We’re going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we’re going down swinging
I’ll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We’re going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we’re going down swinging
I’ll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

Down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we’re going down swinging
I’ll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We’re going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we’re going down swinging
I’ll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We’re going down, down
(Down, down)
Down, down
(Down, down)
We're going down, down
(Down, down)

A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We’re going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we’re going down swinging
I’ll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it


God, I feel like such a hypocrite. But, I have to say, Fall Out Boy still does it to me. When I hear one of their songs, I still feel a little weak. The bass line in Dance, Dance still makes me go insanely weak. Patrick Stump's vocals in I've Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None On My Fingers still makes me smile.

As much as I really hate the band members (coughPeteWentzcough), and I KNOW that they don't make the best music in the world, something about their music just... makes me go weak sometimes. Other times, I sneer (FTW?) and and say, well, I don't know. But you catch my drift. I hope.

I know you guys are probably REALLY fucking tired of me ranting about Fall Out Boy, and their music, and Pete Wentz, and how I feel about the band, but I hope you understand. Fall Out Boy has put me through such shit, and made me feel such SHIT. Pete Wentz especially. It's just been *mostly* a shitty relationship. I remember the happy times, when I *thought* (thought being the key word) I was in love with Pete. I admired the band members whole-heartedly, I respected them, I adored the music that they made. I listened to it all the time. I stood up for them, because everyone I knew hated them. Yes, in my naive mind, I loved them.

But on to the song that I posted above. The sad thing is, I can STILL recognize it by it's opening chords. Yep. It was over played so much, that I find it annoying. But, when I actually take the time to listen to it, I find myself loving the vocals and lyrics. The guitar still annoys me a bit.

As you can see, I was put through a tad bit of shit with this band. I sometimes find myself hating the fact that, one tiny band, one stupid person, have so much, I don't know, control over my feelings. People I have never MET.

So, Fart Out Boy, go on with your selling out. I hope you enjoy it.

I hope you aren't completely bored reading this. :(