I tend to be really mean when I don't get what I want. It makes me feel powerless and like someone is trying to control me. That has always been my "greatest fear" I guess. Attacking other people has always been my defense mechanism. I put on a false front to other people, but my family has been my punching bag for a long time.
I'm obsessive, compulsive, and somtimes suicidal.
I try to be somthing I'm not.
You know that Fall Out Boy song "The Patron Saint Of Liars And Fakes"? The title describes me to a f***ing T.
I have so many problems, but underneath it all, I am just a person trying to figure out who she is. I'm young, but feel old and tired.
-I'm only a liar, but I'm the best
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2 comments:
I want you to know it is normal to lash out at the people you love because they are where you feel safe. I am glad you recognize that about yourself. It shows how mature you are! Learning to stop yourself before you blow up at them is the next stage of development. You'll get there, it will just take time.
You have tremendous love and patience inside you. I KNOW this because animals respond to it and you would not be able to work with horses or even those kids with autism if you didn't have a heart of gold.
I am so glad I got to meet you and I really enjoy reading your blog!
You sound fairly normal to me. Fairly. ;)
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